DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I call each other horrible and derogatory names as a form of “love”. Recently I asked her to stop calling me by names like that because it was fun at first, but now not so much. For me, it was just too negative. I love it and I want to show it by my actions. I want us to be a positive couple. I now call her “Bebe”. Well she got mad and accused me of not letting her be herself. Am I wrong to ask her not to call me by ugly and sexist names? I know she loves me, and I just want her to tone down the insults. Is it too much to ask? – NO DUMB-A ** IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NO DA: No, that’s not too much to ask. Jokes can get old and out of date, and name calling stopped being cute or funny to you a while ago. People who love each other are sensitive to each other’s feelings and don’t do what your girlfriend is doing. If she persists, maybe it is time to take a step back and reassess this relationship, for her “just being herself” will become a drag.

DEAR ABBY: My 34 year old husband has very bad table manners. He slams when he chews, makes swallowing noises when he drinks liquids, and puts huge amounts of food in his mouth. He once swallowed a whole hard-boiled egg all at once and nearly choked on it. It’s disgusting.

I love him, but his lack of manners is embarrassing, especially when we are invited out or at a friend’s house. What can I do? – ROLL MY EYES IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ROLLING: Did you tell him about it? If so, sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Give him a mirror or record a video of him eating so he can see for himself how unattractive he looks when he does this. If that doesn’t persuade him to slow down and take smaller bites, consider putting less food on his plate before serving. I can’t guarantee it will work, but it’s worth a try.

PS A whole egg? OUCH!

DEAR ABBY: After recently going through a divorce, my brother has now decided to start a family. He claims he loves her, but I’m afraid she will take advantage of him. They are both in their mid-thirties and blinded by lust. They plan to get married “in a year maybe”.

I do not know what to think. On the one hand, I’m happy that he’s moved on and found a new life. On the other hand, I am afraid for him, knowing that he is vulnerable. How can I cope? – SIS DETERMINED IN THE VERMONT

DEAR SIS: Your brother is talking about getting married in a year. Unless he puts the cart before the horse in starting a family before marriage, he seems to be handling things well and not rushing into an engagement that he cannot get out of. Calm down. Let him play and get to know his girlfriend. If you do, you might find yourself like her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.